Dear God..

Just listened to David Tao Zhe's Dear God on my laptop while doing my accounting project.. (Ok larh, I admit I was actually surfing the net for funny videos from kevjumba.. lol.. i never know such a random and funny guy lyk him exists.. but I think perhaps that's because people like harry and ricky never actually post videos of their wacky routines.. c",))

Well, I can understand chinese a little bit, but not as good as I would understand my first language (Indonesian), so I ended up googling for a translation.

And here's what I got (I made some editting to make it more intelligible):

Just finished watching the 6.30 news
Another tragedy
There's a mother holding her son's photo
Longing for his return
Cannot stand watching this 
Turn my head and my tears begin to flow
Is it a punishment or a test?
How many hearts are waiting to be broken?

Love, love, the world has forgotten about love
Nobody believe, nobody believe, love anymore
Justice and peace has become a joke
I really don't want to live in this kind of city

Topics of violence and bloodshed are common news
Becoming entertainment, no reasoning
Escapism for the masses, everybody playing games
But if you don't have the money, nobody cares
In my heart I feel the rage
But I can only calm down and be numb
Using lives as stake for gambling
How long will all these crazes last?

Love, love, love in this world has no meaning
Nobody cares, nobody cares, there is no love
I really want to open my mouth and shout abuse
But it's not my crime, it's not my crime
Please don't blame me

Dear God
Why do You close your eyes and not solve the problems
Why pretend not to see, why pretend not to see
Please tell me
Please tell how I can find and let love return
Because its impossible for me to leave this forsaken city
I cannot leave, oh no
Because this forsaken city, this forsaken city
It's still my home

Just watch the news broadscasting from afar
It's like a neverending nightmare
Please give me some strength to continue living
Dear God, where are You?

I often ask the same question myself. Why does a compassionate God, the one that I believe in would allow sufferings and injustice to prevail.. At least that's what is more evident in the news. (Otherwise, perhaps people are just being too pessimistic)

Well, to begin with.. I still believe that everything happens for a purpose, and that purpose is good. A much quoted bible verse on this is Roman 8:28,

"And all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose".. Well, of course I can't generalize the verse by saying that God's purpose is only good for those who he chose. But I must admit I'm struggling to understand this verse.

What is good? and are God's way right simply because he's the almighty God? It's kind off hard to internalize how sufferings can bring us closer to the purpose of our life. I only know that it hurts. And sometimes the pain is unbearable that it renders any rationalization, well, unthinkable. 

But funnily, Peter doesn't think that the prevalence of suffering and injustice is peculiar at all. 

“Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you.” IPeter4:12. Which is the exact opposite of what I, personally, would naturally think. Well, I guess generally people don't naturally think of sufferings as fair, no matter how rampant they are.

So what does this mean? Why do good, innocent people tend to endure all the hardships and the wicked receive undeserved rewards? Are we subject to God's to the justice of his ways just because he IS the God almighty? Well, I can't really answer with a definite yes or no. Yes, because supposing God is the both the highest authority and reality, there can't be a higher reality by which we can judge his actions. 

Nevertheless, I don't think that when the Bible says that "God is good" or "God always has a good purpose for the creations", it means the same kind of 'goodness' or 'right' that we understand in this reality. As in, if we are to take it so literally, we will need to bear with our limited understanding and perceive his justice as something arbitrary, irrational, pointless but nevertheless right. There are some things that are better left alone.

And I don't always agree when someone says that God is not interested in changing our circumstances, he is more interested in changing us. Well, if you say that to a really hard-pressed pitiful man down the street, you may be able to imagine what kind of reaction he would give to such insensitive remarks.

Yes, one of the purpose of sufferings is to make the best out of what is left, but that is provided the person hasn't been broken down by his/her hardships. I just can't help but feel awful to know that there are people with broken hearts everyday, everywhere. And sometimes they don't feel that life is worth living. Well, I thought that way, too, at some points of my life thus far. But now that I'm past that horrible thoughts, and the depression that entails. It saddens me to realize that not everyone who undergoes sufferings/ hardships/ perceived injustice will get the chance to receive comfort, or encouragement. 

But perhaps goodness is in the implication that, bearing in mind the prevalence of sufferings, no man can claim that one's own strength suffices to sustain him through his course of life. This really humbles me, as it highlights how interdependent people actually are, and that I can't keep my eyes closed to the hardhips of people around me. And I'm betting that perhaps this is justice, i.e. when people realize that they mustn't be selfish! And of course, even though people will eventually (I hope) realize how weak we are without each other, there's still that gap that must be filled to jell everything together. And this may just be God's divine intervention in action.

'But as it is written, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him." ' (1Cor 2:9) Well, I guess just as it is impossible, as humans, to depict how wonderful heaven could be and how anyone could possibly deserve the blessing, it is equally impossible to imagine how awful hell is and who deserves eternal punishment.

I only know that sufferings and injustice saddens, and even infuriates me. But with this I conclude, that sufferings and injustice don't even sufficiently explain anything about God's might nor goodness.

Just like George Mueller said "but as a child of God, and as a servant of the LordJesos, I bow, I am satisfied with the will of my Heavenly Father, I seek by perfect submission to His holy will to glorify Him, I kiss continually the hand that has thus afflicted me". Well, if I need to trust my life to someone's hand, it wouldn't be just anyone. It can't be me either, since I'm just evidently unreliable at times. It must be someone who is of the highest authority and the highest reality that no one can pass any blame. I think it's just natural.